It was a tough weekend for Buckeye fans everywhere, and it's easy to become angry or to completely lose perspective.  So in an effort to make things a little lighter Drew and I have cooked up a David Letterman style Top Ten List.  Please understand that we are not trying to demean Terrelle or the coaching staff (we love the Buckeyes), but merely attempting to laugh away our frustrations.  So, without further adieu, here are the "Top Ten Ways to Help Pryor Succeed":

# 10. Hire Dr. Buddy Rydell (a.k.a. Jack Nicholson) for "Anger Management" sessions.
# 9. Trade Nick Siciliano for a quarterback's coach to be named later.

# 8. Put a weight in Pryor's left shoe so he can't throw off his back foot.
# 7. Ban him from watching any more videos of Michael Vick.

# 6. Purchase the book "Coaching Offensive Lineman" (by Dave Christensen and James A. Peterson) for Jim Bollman.

# 5. Apply Stickum to Terrelle's left hand so he doesn't fumble...of course  he'd have to learn to carry the ball in his left hand only.  (For those of you who aren't as old as I am, Stickum was made famous by Lester Hayes, but banned by the NFL in 1981 after Hayes had 13 interceptions the previous season, the ball attaching itself to his hands like steel to a magnet).

# 4. Rehire Siciliano as Pryor's "personal helmet holder!" This way Pryor never forgets his helmet again!

# 3. Buy a pair of "Strength Shoes" for the wide receivers, so they can jump high enough to catch the elevated throws.

# 2. Make him spend an hour with Trev Alberts and Mark May for each interception he tosses.

And, drum roll please...

# 1. The Nuzzle!  (Tress and TP need to learn to share some warm fuzzies like Meyer and Tebow)
Do you have any other suggestions?  Send them our way and we'll be sure to email them straight to the Senator himself!  Here's hoping we don't need another Top Ten List next week.


10/20/2009 07:15

Schedule a visit with Eric Crouch on the viability of a running QB in the NFL.

10/20/2009 13:41

haha...good laugh. the nuzzle is pretty disturbing!

10/20/2009 16:10

Lester Hayes reference, wow someone is old like me!

10/20/2009 18:08

Pryor-ity #1. What Terrelle really needs to do is learn how to get in the faces of his o-line and explain to each of them how beneficial it would be to have at least 7 seconds to drop back and throw the ball before the entire defensive line is in his face. If he's gonna be the leader of the offense, then lead!

Pryor-ity #2. I'm a little concerned about the lack of stories this year about Terrelle practically living in the film room as was out there during his freshman campaign. Could this be the reason TP has a worse passer rating and TD/ INT ratio than last season?

Pryor-ity #3. Offer to take Troy Smith out for a Donatos Pizza. Pick his brain a little bit. As we all know by now the offensive play book is as big and as complex as it was when #10 was in his Heisman season. Troy was the expert at knowing when to pass to whom and where or when to tuck it and run. No gray area. TP is clearly fighting his natural instincts to tuck and run.

I have very big hopes for Terrelle. I think that he has the potential to be one of the greatest buckeye legends of all time. It is always darkest before the dawn.


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